The Fear of Enforcing Your Rules
What's a bad day in family child care?
The parent bangs on your door during nap time to pick up their child early
The parent forgets to bring her check on the day she is supposed to pay you
The parent is late to pick up her child
The parent arrives at an unscheduled time
The list goes on.
Some days you can put up with it, but some days you feel like ending your contract and terminating the parent.
However, many family child care providers who are under great stress because of the parent's behavior, hesitate to terminate the parent because they can't afford to lose the income.
It's a tough situation to be in and many providers have faced this dilemma.
Usually the provider's contract prohibits the parent's behavior but the provider is reluctant to enforce her rules. The reasons? Providers don't like confronting parents. Providers don't believe the parent will change her behavior. Providers are afraid the parent will leave.
In my opinion, the only way to stop parent behavior that violates your contract is to enforce a consequence on the parent. Why would the parent change her behavior if there is no consequence to her? So, charge a fee for each violation or tell the parent you will terminate her if she doesn't stop violating your rules.
What's the worst thing that can happen if you put your foot down and enforce your rules?
The parent decides to leave.
When I've asked this question to thousands of providers across the country over the past 30 years, there are always a few who say that a parent did leave because they put their foot down. But only one provider ever said she regretted her decision to enforce her rules!I can understand the fear of losing a parent if you decide to enforce your rules.
But, it rarely happens.
Providers who have clear rules in their contract and policies and consistently enforce them have less trouble with parents than providers who don't enforce them. I've spoken with plenty of providers who have strict rules and always enforce them. They don't have problems with parents.
The reason why parents break your rules is because you let them! That is, you don't give them a consequence when they do break them.
In my opinion it's better to run your business in a way that does not create undue stress on yourself. Most providers aren't earning enough money to put up with a whole lot of grief from parents. If parents can't follow your rules, terminate them. If that means you can't make it financially, find some other line of work. Don't trap yourself in a job that makes you unhappy and pays very little.
This, of course, is easy for me to say. I don't face the same problems that you do. But, it's reasonable to expect parents to follow your rules. It's up to you to enforce them.
See an excellent discussion about this at daycare.com.
Tom Copeland - www.tomcopelandblog.com
Image credit: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-easily-can-a-parent-psychologically-damage-their-child-a6802941.html
